Chantelle Houghton doesn`t think Alex Reid ever loved her
The reality TV star feels "betrayed" over the end of her relationship with the cage fighter - with who she has five-month-old daughter Dolly - but has only realised how bad things were after Alex hit out at her following a recent interview she did.
She said: "I feel like I`m having the worst time of my life, but I`m lucky to have a lot of support.
"When Alex discovered I`d done an interview to defend myself against his accusations, he said to me, `Now it`s going to get ugly.`
"I feel such an idiot. All those months I think I was in denial. I was having sleepless nights, had milk leaking from my boobs and thought that my partner loved me but I don`t think he ever truly did.
"I can`t help but feel utterly betrayed. I feel sad - this should have been an amazing time for us."
Despite the bad feeling between the former couple, Chantelle doesn`t want Dolly to suffer and is trying to arrange some regularly visiting time for Alex to see his daughter.
She wrote in her column for new! magazine: "I`m trying to sort out set times for Alex to see Dolly because I want to avoid last-minute meetings when it might be her sleep time.
"Obviously we don`t have nine-to-five jobs, so it won`t always work out, but I want us to try to stick to them.
"Alex is Dolly`s dad and always will be. He`s welcome to see her whenever he wants, obviously at a time that suits both of us. I`ve never stopped Alex seeing Dolly and never would."